Week 10 Objectives - Conclusion

Weekly objectives  

1. Check your mock research grade.
2. Continue working on wherever you are in the project.
3. Read the explanation below of the conclusion.
4. When you’ve finished weeks 1-9, write your conclusion by following this example.

The Conclusion

Let’s first look at the instructions from the PDF:

The summation, which provides a strong conclusion, amplifying the force of the argument, and showing the readers that this solution is the best at meeting the circumstances.

It is tempting in the conclusion just to restate the claims and thesis, but this does not give a sense of momentum or closure to your argument. Instead, try to hearken back to the narration and the issues. Remind your readers what’s at stake and try to show why your thesis provides the best solution to the issue being faced. This gives an impression of the rightness and importance of your argument, and suggests its larger significance or long-range impact. More importantly, it gives the readers a psychological sense of closure; the argument winds up instead of breaking off.

I like this explanation. Let’s look at it piece by piece and try to understand it. Then, we’ll look at a good example. Red words are my words.

1.     It is tempting in the conclusion just to restate the claims and thesis, but don’t do it. It is not a mature way of writing, and it is also not persuasive.

2.     Reference your narration and issues. Remind your readers why your issue is interesting or important and try to show why your thesis is the best solution or idea.

3.     Suggest your argument’s larger significance or long-range impact.

4.     Give the readers a psychological sense of closure.

That’s a fine set of instructions, but the question I hope you have is, “How do I do that?” Here’s how. 

Step 1: Write a conclusion however you want to, in whatever way you think is good or easy or fun or anything. 

Step 2: Look at these 4 instructions. Does your conclusion fit these 4 commands? If the answer is yes, you’re done! If the answer is no, rewrite it and go back to step 2.

Check out this fancy flow chart I made. 

Now, maybe you have another question: “How do I know if I am only restating my thesis and claims?” You have three options. 1) Self assess 2) Peer assess 3) Teacher assess. Two of those options require you to ask for help! Don’t be shy about asking for help! You have a lot of opportunities to do that.

Ok, so let’s take a look at an example I’ll build using this process. The topic comes from a recent 1^st grade performance test. 

Just in case you thought it sounded ridiculous

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 1

          Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol. Cartoon characters are role models for children, and if they exhibit bad behavior children will copy it. Also, cartoon characters are the last “pure” pieces of entertainment we have. Every other TV show or movie is full of sex and violence. Cartoon characters are what we can rely on for entertainment that doesn’t challenge our morals. Last, it is illegal to market age restricted products like alcohol or tobacco to underage people. The target demographic for cartoon characters and shows is clearly children. Therefore, the marketing the cartoon characters would provide is targeted at children, which is illegal. So, because they are pure role models and it is illegal, cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-This is a very formulaic, boring conclusion. It simply restates the thesis and claims. It does not help persuade anyone about my thesis. I need to try again!

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 2

          Since the first investigation into the power of marketing to influence children it has been clear that children are more vulnerable to marketing than other groups of people. This is a significant reason why cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol. Children are at a stage in their life where they are forming many important ideas and opinions, and it is unfair for corporate interests to exploit that special time of development. We need to remember that this marketing doesn’t only affect “at risk” or “bad” kids, but everyone. Or, perhaps more importantly, it can easily push children who are unsure about whether or not to drink alcohol into drinking alcohol. That’s a serious issue.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-I should mention a specific investigation from my narration. There’s no discussion of “the big picture” or the implications of the thesis. I need to include those things.

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 3

          A responsible society should not allow cartoon characters to market inappropriate products, like alcohol, to children. First, to be clear, alcohol is inappropriate for children because at this point in their life it is damaging to their development, and inaccurate advertisements can mislead them about the realities of alcohol. According to…. Children need protection from these corporate interests. If we don’t take legal steps to prevent alcohol companies from marketing directly to children through their favorite cartoon characters, we are culpable in whatever ailments befall them or our societies.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-Not bad… I include my thesis, mention my narration, address the importance of the issue and consider the big picture, but it feels underdeveloped. In the next draft I’ll explain the implications a bit more. I don’t see a real strong sense of closure, though. How can I leave my readers with a stronger impression of my piece?

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 4

          A responsible society should not allow cartoon characters to market inappropriate products, like alcohol, to children. First, to be clear, alcohol is inappropriate for children because at this point in their life it is damaging to their development, and inaccurate advertisements can mislead them about the realities of alcohol. According to…. Children need protection from these corporate interests. If we don’t take legal steps to prevent alcohol companies from marketing directly to children through their favorite cartoon characters, we are culpable in whatever ailments befall them or our societies. We will see increases in underage drinking, alcohol addiction, alcohol related diseases, accidents and crimes. Who will pay for that damage? It will be you and me, certainly not the alcohol companies. Corporations will always try to attract new customers, and when those customers are our children it is our social and familial responsibility to protect them through whatever means necessary.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-I think I did a great job here. It is persuasive because I point out it is our responsibility to protect our children. That is a memorable conclusion. Also, I specifically address the real consequences and implications of allowing cartoon characters to endorse alcohol. I think I’ll use this for my blog post!