Last post!

Congratulations everyone! You've finished what I hope was a rewarding and educational experience for you. Many of you have produced excellent academic artifacts appropriate for University level work, and you should be proud of finishing such a colossal task.

Here are the last things you need to know.

1) Grades

All grades will be finished by December 17. We will not be giving any feedback unless there is a problem. If you have any questions, though, of course come and ask. If you're in Sam Teacher's class, your grades will look like this on your final draft post:

1D = 1st Draft Grade (2 Maximum)
2D = 2nd Draft Grade (3 Maximum)
R = Research Grade (5 Maximum)
F = Final Grade (5 Maximum)
T = Total Grade (15 Maximum)





If you're in Agnes Teacher's class, you can find your grades the same way you found your second draft grades, here.

2) Final Grammarly Reports

If you're curious to see your final Grammarly reports, you can find them here:

Sam Teacher's Classes
Agnes Teacher's Classes

3) Slight Change to the Grading Rubric (A good change!)

We slightly modified the final grading rubric to make it a bit easier. Nobody is perfect, so we changed the "technically perfect" requirement for 5 and 4 points. They now look like this:

5 points

• Technically perfect Technically almost perfect
• Follows the classical argument
• Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
• Thought provoking and captivating
• Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

• Technically perfect Technically excellent
• Follows the classical argument
• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic
• Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

You can see all the grading rubrics here.

4) Please take this exit survey. 

Course Survey

Your honest feedback will mean a lot to your teachers. It is anonymous, and there are two pages. Please do both pages (You have to click "Continue" at the bottom)! Thanks!

Week 16 Final Draft Y'all!

1) Finish your final draft by 11:59 pm December 7.

1. Please notice, the deadline changed.
2. Review your second draft feedback.
3. Review the final draft rubric.
4. Your final draft should look like this.
5. If you submit late, you will receive a minus 1 point penalty.
6. If you submit after December 10, you will receive a 0.

Guys you are almost done! I'm so impressed with your second drafts, and so proud of so many of you for showing commitment, creativity and integrity in your writing process. I hope you've enjoyed the process and learned skills you can take with you into the future. As you polish your final draft I want to point out some common problems that you should be careful of.

1) Style: Your essay should be written in formal style. That means:

• Use third person (Not "I" or "You"). If you are telling a personal story, you can use I.
• Do not use questions unless it is NECESSARY (It is almost never necessary).
• Use fonts and colors that are easy to read.
• Spelling, punctuation and grammar MATTER. Spend enough time to fix as many mistakes as you can. 

2) Plagiarism: You must cite a source when:

• You use someone else's words
• You put someone else's words into your own words (Paraphrasing)
• You use any information you acquired from another source (Statistics, data)

• Your reference list must only contain references to sources you cite in your text.
• If you cite a source in your text, you must put it in your reference list.

• If you use a link in your final draft, you must also use APA style to cite it.

3) Peer feedback - 

• Did you get peer feedback? If your peers did not give you thoughtful feedback, tell me and we will solve that problem. 

4) Visual aids and interactivity

• If you want, include relevant photos, graphics or links. Remember that you want your paper to appear professional, though. Check out 백해진s second draft for a good example of using graphics. Just remember, you need to explain their significance and cite them in the correct APA style.

Week 15 APA Citations

There are three styles for academic writing - MLA, APA and Chicago. We use the APA style because we are working in the social sciences (Most of your essays are about social relationships or human behavior). Here is detailed information about the APA formatting style. NOTE You don't need to follow all these rules. You DO have to cite your sources according to APA rules. 

*REMEMBER: 

If you plagiarize ANY part of your final draft, 

you will receive a 0/5 for the final draft.*

This week is all about avoiding plagiarism. You can avoid plagiarism by properly citing your sources. That means giving credit to the source of ideas and quotes.

1. Read this blog post.
2. Look at my example second draft with correct citations.
3. Fix your own citations using the APA Style Guide from Purdue's The OWL.

A citation is an attribution. An attribution is an acknowledgement of someone's work. Sam Landfried said, "Don't plagiarize!" Is citing Sam Landfried.

You need citations when you:

1. use a quotation.
2. paraphrase.
3. use statistics or data.
4. use any information from someone besides you.

When you use someone else's source, you must stay true to their intent. I mean, if I say, "Plagiarism is a terrible thing and I hope you never do it," do not edit that quote to: 

Sam Landfried says, "Plagiarism is a ... thing and I hope you ... do it." 

That would be very dishonest. For example, in my second draft, I wrote this paragraph:

Or, to look at an example of cutting edge technology trying more directly to mirror the power of the human brain, let's consider the Human Brain Project's effort to recreate the human brain's neural network by networking millions of computers. Their hope is that one day the network will be so sophisticated that it will have the same plasticity and power of a human brain. Even though there are real people with real plans to accomplish this, on their own website they acknowledge how unfeasible this project is in reality, and why even if it is created it will not really rival human brain power. First, the power consumption of their current model is more than an obstacle, it is a concrete barrier. The technology required would require hundreds of millions of times the power of the human brain. That means that to power one single hypothetical brain, it would require the entire power production of several small countries combined - for one "brain". 

I decided, though, that I was misrepresenting this source. I was dishonest about what the website said. So, I removed the paragraph and source from my final draft. Make sure your own essays reflect your sources accurately and honestly.

Here are detailed instructions for how to cite your sources in your text.

Let's look at some examples of acceptable citation. In each example the source is Sam Landfried:

1. Quotation:
   Sam Landfried says, "Don't plagiarize!"
2. Paraphrase:
   Sam Landfried says plagiarism is a serious academic crime. 
3. Statistics:
   According to Sam Landfried, 0% of people who plagiarize their final draft will receive credit.
4. Other times:
   Many popular opinions, including that of Sam Landfried, thinks plagiarism is easy to avoid, so those who plagiarize are just lazy. 

There is an alternative form of citation called "parenthetical" citations. They look like this:

Plagiarism is dishonest, unethical and will earn you a 0 on your final draft (Landfried, 2014). 

Both forms of citation are acceptable. At the end of your article, you need to include your list of references. Every source you cited in your text must be on the list of references. If a source is not cited in your text, do not put it on your references. Here are the detailed instructions for how to write your reference page (It will replace your bibliography). It will go at the end of your essay. List your sources in alphabetical order. It looks like this:

References

Landfried, Samuel. (2014, November 25). Week 15 APA Citations [Blog post]. Retrieved                     from http://samteachersperformancetest.blogspot.com/2014/11/week-15-apa-            
            citations.html

Week 14 Peer Review

You have finished your second draft and you're in the home stretch! We have two more things we have to do - Peer reviews and APA citation, and we have three weeks to do them. This week:

You've seen feedback from me, and feedback from Grammarly (If you have not received Grammarly feedback, make sure to ask for it from me, Agnes Teacher or Kim Jinyoung Teacher). Now, let's get some feedback from your peers.

1) Do peer reviews.

AFTER you finish your peer reviews

2) Start working on your final draft

I want everyone to do two thorough peer reviews. Do peer review for the two students in front of you, according to student number.

So if you're student 12, you will review student 13 and 14. If there is no student 13, you will review student 14 and 15. If student 14 has not finished their second draft, review their first draft. If student 14 has not finished their first or second draft, review student 15 and 16. If you're student 24, review student 25 and 1. If you're 25, do 1 and 2. Got it? Good! When we're done, everyone should receive two feed backs and have done two feed backs.

하고 싶으면, peer feedback 한국어로 쓸 수 있어요.

I want you to fill out this form for each essay you review as a post on your blog. Then post the link as a comment beneath the author's second draft. Here is an example (Scroll to the bottom to see the link, then click on it). (Please notice, there are two accounts, Sam Landfried is the reviewer, Sam Teacher is the original author).

Before you read the essay, review the grading criteria for the final draft.

5 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Thought provoking and captivating

• Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

3 points

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Some evidence of drafting and research

2 points

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

0 points

• Incomplete or inadequate

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
..................................................................................................................................................

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
..................................................................................................................................................

Thesis
What is the thesis?
..................................................................................................................................................

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
..................................................................................................................................................

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
..................................................................................................................................................

Any other thoughts?
..................................................................................................................................................

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
..................................................................................................................................................

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
..................................................................................................................................................

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 
..................................................................................................................................................

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
..................................................................................................................................................

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
..................................................................................................................................................

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
..................................................................................................................................................

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
..................................................................................................................................................

Is the research from appropriate sources?
..................................................................................................................................................

Are the sources obvious?
..................................................................................................................................................

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
..................................................................................................................................................

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
..................................................................................................................................................

Week 13 Second Draft

This week, focus on making your first draft better. Maybe this means you need to dismantle, or take apart, your entire first draft. That's fine! Actually, that's good. Probably, the bigger changes you make, the better. Use your time to work on improving your weak spots. What are your weak spots? Grammar? Research? Logic? Organization? Thesis? Decide with your  self analysis, decide with your feedback from me, or ask peers for their opinions, too. Remember, all the decisions you make are YOUR decisions - Don't just follow my advice without thinking about it first.

Let's review the grading criteria:

Second draft

3 points - The second draft builds on the ideas of the first draft in a meaningful and thoughtful way. A reasonable evolution of ideas is visible. 

2 points - The second draft is a reasonable development of the 1st draft. There is meaningful improvement in the essay.

1 point - The second draft is only improved technically. 

0 points - The second draft is not an improvement on the first draft. 

If you plagiarize in your second draft, one point will be subtracted from your total grade.

If either draft is late, one point will be subtracted. 
First Draft - October 26 Monday October 27
Second Draft - November 16

Also, start building your bibliography (A list of sources at the end of your article). It will help you use APA style much easier for the final draft.

Get to work! If you have any questions, please ask me, your Korean teacher or a peer. Take a look at my example second draft post to see my bibliography, how I'm avoiding plagiarism, and how I'm combing the pieces of the classical argument together.

Week 12 Objectives - Feedback

Week 12 Objectives
1. Read the grading update about plagiarism.

2. Check your first draft grade (If it's ready) and feedback from me and Agnes T. We will finish grading your first drafts by Friday. Check these lists for your grades.
Sam Teacher's classes
Agnes Teacher's classes
DON'T CHANGE YOUR FIRST DRAFT! Make changes in your second draft.

3. Check out your Grammarly reports. Kim Jinyoung T has been very kind and used a program called Grammarly to assess your first drafts. Please find your essay and look at the revisions. Remember, Grammarly is a robot, not a human, so it will make mistakes. If you think Grammarly is wrong, it probably is wrong.
Sam Teacher's Grammarly reports
Agnes Teacher's Grammarly reports

4. Finish your self evaluation.

5. Read this post about common problems.

6. Read an example of an AWESOME first draft (The confirmation does not have enough research, but it's still a great start).

7. Start your second draft. Continue researching and writing research posts to improve your research grade.

(Optional) We will do peer review after the second draft, but if you like, feel free to get input from peers now. It is always useful.

As I read your first drafts, I am noticing some common problems. Look at this list and see if these things apply to you.

1.
PLAGIARISM -
Some of you are plagiarising a little, some of you are plagiarizing A LOT. It doesn't matter if it is a lot or a little, it is a serious problem. Please start citing your sources appropriately. Your first draft is not penalized for plagiarism. In your second draft, if you plagiarize one point will be subtracted. If you plagiarize in your final draft, you will receive 0 points for the final draft. 

Here are some resources to avoid plagiarism

What is plagiarism?
How to avoid plagiarism

2.
Follow the format of the classical argument. There are five parts. There is not a fixed number of paragraphs. Please review the blog posts about each part to make sure you are familiar with them and using them correctly.

3.
Thesis must be PERSUASIVE. A thesis like, "Crime is bad" is technically a thesis, but it's not a very good thesis because no one will argue with you, and it is not interesting. Everyone already agrees, or no one cares. A thesis like, "Crime is bad, but we must ensure the dignity of criminals while they are being punished," is interesting and debatable. Make sure your thesis is strong, or your whole essay will be weak.

Week 11 Objectives - Self Evaluation

You should have finished your first draft.

If you did not finish your first draft:

1) Finish your first draft!

If you did finish your draft, congratulations! Give yourself a big pat on the back. Now move on to the self evaluation.

1) Read through this post.
2) Make your own self evaluation post. Use this template.

When you write your first draft, you are in a productive, creative mindset. You should not be criticizing or correcting yourself. You should be creating. Now that you have finished, it is time to change your attitude from creative to critical. We need to assess our work and decide how to make it better. First, let's look at the rubric. From the post:

If either draft is late, one point will be subtracted. 
First Draft - October 26 October 27
Second Draft - November 16

First draft

2 points - The first draft is thoughtful and a good start to an effective persuasive essay. It demonstrates an understanding of the classical argument.

1 point - The student completes a first draft that demonstrates an understanding of the classical argument

0 points - The first draft is inadequate

First, what score do you think you deserve? Write a brief justification. Think about it, then look at my answer.

- I think I deserve 0 points. I only included 4 out of the 5 elements of a classical argument, and my research was inadequate to support my thesis.

Next, let's decide what did you do well, and what could you do better? Think about it, then look at my answers.

1) My organization was good. The elements of my argument are all logically connected, and there is no unnecessary information. 

2) I could have used research better. Basically, I need to do more research. Most of my arguments are based off of opinions and personal feelings.

Please recall the 5 parts of the classical argument. Which part of the classical argument did you use the best? Which part could be improved? Think about it, then look at my answers.

1) My narration is strong. I do a good job explaining the foundations of the issue, and I prepare my audience to hear my argument.

2) My confirmation is very weak. Because it doesn't have enough research, my ideas are not convincing. 

Last, what's your strategy for your next draft? Where will you focus your attention to make the second draft stronger?

- I think the best thing I can do for my essay is improve my research. I need at least three more reliable sources to make my thesis compelling. Also, I didn't include a refutation, so obviously that is essential to include. The last thing I should do is strengthen my introduction and conclusion. Neither one is very strong. The introduction is not engaging; I don't think it will attract a reader's attention. The conclusion has nothing memorable for the audience to be left with. So, basically, my three step plan: 1) Research! 2) Write the concession. 3) Improve intro and conclusion.

Now that you have a plan, go forth and improve! Write that second draft due November 16.

Week 10 Objectives - Conclusion

Weekly objectives  

1. Check your mock research grade.
2. Continue working on wherever you are in the project.
3. Read the explanation below of the conclusion.
4. When you’ve finished weeks 1-9, write your conclusion by following this example.

The Conclusion

Let’s first look at the instructions from the PDF:

The summation, which provides a strong conclusion, amplifying the force of the argument, and showing the readers that this solution is the best at meeting the circumstances.

It is tempting in the conclusion just to restate the claims and thesis, but this does not give a sense of momentum or closure to your argument. Instead, try to hearken back to the narration and the issues. Remind your readers what’s at stake and try to show why your thesis provides the best solution to the issue being faced. This gives an impression of the rightness and importance of your argument, and suggests its larger significance or long-range impact. More importantly, it gives the readers a psychological sense of closure; the argument winds up instead of breaking off.

I like this explanation. Let’s look at it piece by piece and try to understand it. Then, we’ll look at a good example. Red words are my words.

1.     It is tempting in the conclusion just to restate the claims and thesis, but don’t do it. It is not a mature way of writing, and it is also not persuasive.

2.     Reference your narration and issues. Remind your readers why your issue is interesting or important and try to show why your thesis is the best solution or idea.

3.     Suggest your argument’s larger significance or long-range impact.

4.     Give the readers a psychological sense of closure.

That’s a fine set of instructions, but the question I hope you have is, “How do I do that?” Here’s how. 

Step 1: Write a conclusion however you want to, in whatever way you think is good or easy or fun or anything. 

Step 2: Look at these 4 instructions. Does your conclusion fit these 4 commands? If the answer is yes, you’re done! If the answer is no, rewrite it and go back to step 2.

Check out this fancy flow chart I made. 

Now, maybe you have another question: “How do I know if I am only restating my thesis and claims?” You have three options. 1) Self assess 2) Peer assess 3) Teacher assess. Two of those options require you to ask for help! Don’t be shy about asking for help! You have a lot of opportunities to do that.

Ok, so let’s take a look at an example I’ll build using this process. The topic comes from a recent 1^st grade performance test. 

Just in case you thought it sounded ridiculous

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 1

          Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol. Cartoon characters are role models for children, and if they exhibit bad behavior children will copy it. Also, cartoon characters are the last “pure” pieces of entertainment we have. Every other TV show or movie is full of sex and violence. Cartoon characters are what we can rely on for entertainment that doesn’t challenge our morals. Last, it is illegal to market age restricted products like alcohol or tobacco to underage people. The target demographic for cartoon characters and shows is clearly children. Therefore, the marketing the cartoon characters would provide is targeted at children, which is illegal. So, because they are pure role models and it is illegal, cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-This is a very formulaic, boring conclusion. It simply restates the thesis and claims. It does not help persuade anyone about my thesis. I need to try again!

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 2

          Since the first investigation into the power of marketing to influence children it has been clear that children are more vulnerable to marketing than other groups of people. This is a significant reason why cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol. Children are at a stage in their life where they are forming many important ideas and opinions, and it is unfair for corporate interests to exploit that special time of development. We need to remember that this marketing doesn’t only affect “at risk” or “bad” kids, but everyone. Or, perhaps more importantly, it can easily push children who are unsure about whether or not to drink alcohol into drinking alcohol. That’s a serious issue.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-I should mention a specific investigation from my narration. There’s no discussion of “the big picture” or the implications of the thesis. I need to include those things.

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 3

          A responsible society should not allow cartoon characters to market inappropriate products, like alcohol, to children. First, to be clear, alcohol is inappropriate for children because at this point in their life it is damaging to their development, and inaccurate advertisements can mislead them about the realities of alcohol. According to…. Children need protection from these corporate interests. If we don’t take legal steps to prevent alcohol companies from marketing directly to children through their favorite cartoon characters, we are culpable in whatever ailments befall them or our societies.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-Not bad… I include my thesis, mention my narration, address the importance of the issue and consider the big picture, but it feels underdeveloped. In the next draft I’ll explain the implications a bit more. I don’t see a real strong sense of closure, though. How can I leave my readers with a stronger impression of my piece?

Cartoon characters should not endorse alcohol.

Draft 4

          A responsible society should not allow cartoon characters to market inappropriate products, like alcohol, to children. First, to be clear, alcohol is inappropriate for children because at this point in their life it is damaging to their development, and inaccurate advertisements can mislead them about the realities of alcohol. According to…. Children need protection from these corporate interests. If we don’t take legal steps to prevent alcohol companies from marketing directly to children through their favorite cartoon characters, we are culpable in whatever ailments befall them or our societies. We will see increases in underage drinking, alcohol addiction, alcohol related diseases, accidents and crimes. Who will pay for that damage? It will be you and me, certainly not the alcohol companies. Corporations will always try to attract new customers, and when those customers are our children it is our social and familial responsibility to protect them through whatever means necessary.

Use the flow chart. What do you think? Is this a good conclusion?

-I think I did a great job here. It is persuasive because I point out it is our responsibility to protect our children. That is a memorable conclusion. Also, I specifically address the real consequences and implications of allowing cartoon characters to endorse alcohol. I think I’ll use this for my blog post!

Week 9 Objectives - Refutation and Concession

Week 9 Objectives

1. Read about the mock grades you will receive.
2. Start taking this project seriously. Too many of you are still on your brainstorming or research questions. You are responsible for managing your own time, and we expect high quality first drafts due October 26.
3. Read this post about the 4th part of the classical argument, the refutation and concession.
4. Read the example refutation and concession.
5. IF you have finished all the objectives before week 9, write your own refutation and concession. If not, catch up!

What is the objective of a persuasive essay?

- To persuade

Can you persuade someone who agrees with you?

- No

What kind of people can you persuade?

- People who disagree with you. 

A common technique to persuade people who disagree with you is to examine their arguments and point out why they're wrong. To do this successfully and effectively, you must do the following things. 1) Anticipate their arguments. 2) Create strong counterarguments. 3) Strengthen your persuasive argument. 

Let's do an exercise. This is my persuasive thesis: Dogs are more suitable pets than cats. Here are my arguments: Dogs are friendlier, more playful and can go on trips with you. 

Now let's think about the counterarguments.

What arguments will cat lovers use?

- Cats do not drool. Cats use litter boxes. You can leave cats by themselves for a few days at a time. 

What counterarguments will you use for them?

- Dog drool is not gross and actually getting licked by your dog is fun and an enjoyable bonding experience. Taking your dog for a walk is a good excuse to go for a walk, and having a box full of poop in your house is gross. Dogs can go with you when you go on trips, so they don't need to stay home alone. 

How will you use this to strengthen your argument? 

- The opposition's arguments seem to be based on some pretty undesirable situations. First, cats are supposedly better than dogs because they don't demonstrate affection for people by licking them. Personally, I enjoy that bonding experience with my dog. Second, I don't understand how having a box full of poop hidden in your house is better than having a nice walk around the block with your dog. Last, it seems like the opponents are saying that one of the best reasons to have a cat is that it is easy to get away from your pet. As a dog owner, I don't want to get away from my pet, and actually I enjoy going on road trips with him. 

Do you see how I argued against the (imagined) opponent and also included new affirmative arguments for my own position? 

Here's a question: If you anticipate an argument from your opponent you cannot counter, should you include it in your refutation and concession?

- NO. Never weaken your own argument. 

Week 8 Objectives - The Confirmation

1. Review Google account safety info (And always log out of your Google account!)
2. Read this blog post (Make sure to check for hidden text).
3. Read my example confirmation.
4. Write your own confirmation post with the label "classical argument".
5. Start linking to your sources.

This is similar to the body paragraphs we wrote for 5 paragraph essays. The confirmation is where you support and explain your thesis.

Let's review.

What's the most important part of your essay?

Answer: The thesis

What's a thesis?

Answer: The thesis is a single argument your entire essay is based on. 

What's a good thesis?

Answer: A good thesis is clear, direct and a usable argument (For example, "Red is a pretty color" is not a great thesis because nobody especially cares, and it is an opinion most people would not disagree with).


Now that you have a fabulous thesis, how do you support it? What are some of the tools or methods we've used to support theses, arguments and opinions in the past?

My answers: Expert opinions, reliable internet sources, statistics and facts, logical explanations, but there are many different ways you could support your thesis.

As you write your confirmation, you want to keep asking yourself the question, "Why does my evidence support the thesis?" Make sure your reader understands how your evidence and information supports your position. Logically link your evidence to make a chain of reasoning. 

Your confirmation is arguably the most important section of your essay. This is where you will convince your reader that your opinion, your argument, is correct. This is where your persuasive essay will persuade the reader to your side of reasoning. Make it convincing and compelling!

Also, this is where you need to start citing your sources. That means when you use information from someone else (A newspaper, an interview, a statistic) you need to say where that information came from. 

Week 7 Objectives - The Narration

Week 7 Objectives

1. Do you want to see examples of good student blogs? Did I leave a comment on your blog? Check! Instructions here.

3. Read this page for instructions on how to write your narration.

4. Make your own narration post - Follow the instructions in red.

This is explanation of Narration is from the Classical Argument PDF I provided:

In the narration, you want to establish a context for your argument. This means that you need to explain the situation to which your argument is responding, as well as any relevant background information, history, statistics, and so on that affect it. (For instance, the abortion argument might well mention Roe vs. Wade, more recent cases, legal precedents, and even public opinion polls.) Once again, the language with which you describe this background will give the audience a picture of you, so choose it carefully. By the end of this section, the readers should understand what’s at stake in this argument—the issues and alternatives the community faces—so that they can evaluate your claims fairly.

In layman's terms, the narration is where you explain how your very focused, targeted and narrow argument fits into the big picture or the real world. For example, "Humans are smarter than computers," is not a very powerful or interesting statement by itself. But now, consider these ideas, too:

1. For a long time, science fiction has dreamed of a world where computers enslave humans.
2. Computers have reached a level of power that allows them to beat humans in certain tasks.
3. Certain predictions claim computers will surpass human intelligence within the next 50 years.
4. The growth of computer power exceeds the speed with which any other technology has ever grown.
5. The current generation in the developed world cannot imagine life without cellphones, computers, the internet or the 100 other ways we use computers every day. 

In the context of those facts, the relationship and competition between human and computer intelligence becomes more significant and interesting. 

Connect your island to the world!

Basically, the narration takes your little topic's island and connects it to the rest of the world. The questions you should be asking yourself for the narration are:

1. What do people already know about my topic?
2. What research has already been done about my topic?
3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

The information you decide to include will influence the rest of your article. On the internet there will be a million articles that come from different sources with different opinions. You want to use reliable sources, not opinions on blogs, and you want to focus on articles and sources that will benefit your argument. (Later, in the refutation and concession you will spend time examining the opponent's perspective.) 

Week 6 Objectives - The Introduction

1. Read the introduction to the classical argument blog post.
2. Check out the new "Hidden text" thing I'm doing.
3. Read the following information about the introduction of your classical argument.
4. Write the introduction for your first draft with the label "first draft introduction" and explain the three parts.

The introduction in a classical argument is similar to the introduction in the 5 paragraph essays we practiced last semester. It has three  main objectives.

The introduction:

1. Attracts the audience. 
2. Explains the topic.
3. Declares the thesis of your argument.

1. Attract the audience.

How do you get people to listen to you? There are so many voices in the world. Some are very loud, some are quiet but important and some aren't worth paying much attention to. How do you convince your audience early in your essay that your voice and essay are worth listening to?

Brainstorm some ideas for what attracts you to people and comment on this blog post with your ideas. Is it a friendly personality? What about confidence? Humor? There are no right or wrong answers. Consider these two "attention grabbers". 

1. Everyone has a brain, and a lot of people have computers. Which one do you think is more powerful?
2. Everyday we perform complex calculations that we don't even recognize. You have inhaled enough oxygen to nourish your blood, but not so much that you feel sick and lightheaded because of over-oxygenization. Every time you take a step you perform a feat unique in the animal kingdom - balancing your whole body on one leg, then the other, to move forward. I won't even consider the higher function brain operations like social interaction or emotional problem solving. And then there are computers, routinely praised for their "incredible processing power." Amazing! A computer can anticipate weather patterns, beat humans in chess and play the stock market - but are these calculations really so amazing?

Which one is more compelling? (After thinking about your answer, highlight the following text to see my answer).

They both compare the human brain and the computer. One of them does it very simply and quickly, very directly and clearly. The other is a more complex and extended attention grabber. It might be more difficult to understand, but the reader is left with more questions and curiosity about the topic then the first one. The second attention grabber is more appealing and appropriate. 

*Did you notice?* In class I always said, "Don't use rhetorical questions!" but in both these attention grabbers I used rhetorical questions. I am lifting the ban on questions - You can use them (If you want to - You don't have to), but you must use them wisely. "Wisely" means don't ask easy or obvious questions, or questions that have answers that do not matter like, "What do you think about computers?"

You can tell funny stories to get your readers attention, you can startle them with a surprising fact or observation. There are as many ways to get the readers attention as there are students in our class, but make sure you spend the necessary time to make an effective attention grabber.

2. Explain the topic

Explaining the topic and attracting the audience will probably overlap. You want to tell the reader what your topic is BEFORE you present your argument. So, for example, if your argument is, "The human brain is more powerful than computers," you can't start your essay with a funny story about computers and then declare your argument. Consider this (poorly formed) introduction.

My grandma is really bad with computers. One time she was trying to check her email, but she got tricked by spam email and downloaded a bunch of malicious software. She broke the computer! Humans are smarter than computers. 

Why is this a bad introduction? (After thinking about your answer, highlight the following text to see my answer).

We need to see all elements of the topic before you introduce your argument. So here, we need to know that the topic is intelligence, and that we are comparing humans and computers. This would be an ineffective story or attention grabber for this topic, also, because it demonstrates human stupidity, and the argument will focus on human superiority. Let's modify it a little bit -  

Senior citizens are notoriously bad with computers. Many grandchildren are familiar with helping their elders check their email or navigate the world wide web. Even though technology might be difficult for the older generation, their brains are still infinitely more powerful than the most powerful computer. 

Why is this a good introduction? (After thinking about your answer, highlight the following text to see my answer).

Now we have a story that a lot of people can recognize and agree with - a good attention grabber because it makes the reader more willing to listen to the author - and a mention of all the important elements of this essay, human brains versus computer intelligence.  

Make sure your topic is clear BEFORE you introduce your argument on the topic.


3. Declare your thesis

The thesis would be part 16,
everything else is the rest of your essay

A thesis is an idea or argument that your entire essay is based on, and it is the single most important part of your essay. It is the central hub that all parts of the essay connect to, like the axle of a wheel.

It is very similar to the topic sentences we wrote last semester.

Your thesis sentence should be direct, clear and an argument that you can use for the rest of your essay. Consider these thesis statements. Which ones are good? Which are bad? Why? (After you think about your answers highlight them to see my thoughts.)

1. Human brains are smarter than computers. - This is a good thesis because it is direct, clear and a reasonable argument.

2. Human brains and computers share many similarities.  - This thesis is direct and clear, but it is not a very good argument. Nobody would disagree with it, so we can't really argue about it. It is true, computers and brains share similarities - where's the argument?

3. Human brains are the best. - Compared to what? This is ambiguous and not clear.

4. Computers can't do as much as the human brain. - This is too broad. Computers can do many things the human brain can't do. A good thesis will specify WHAT a computer cannot do. 

5. Human brains, our most powerful survival tool, evolved by out-thinking our competitors, and logically since computers are just one tool made by humans they are inferior in computational power. - This is not direct or clear. It sounds pretty, but there is too much information and it is too easy to misunderstand. Remember KISS (Keep It Simple, Sir!)